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A little over a year ago, working with my doctor, I decided it was in her best interests (she has dementia) to move into as- sisted living. With help from my spouse, I was able to maintain her unoccupied house for about a year. We have other elderly relatives in the neighborhood who kept us posted if any- thing required attention. A few months ago, it became apparent that mom would be staying in assisted living and so we decided we needed to sell the house in order to fund her care. All through- out the estate sale and listing the house for sale we kept the relatives informed so they feel the need to maintain constant surveillance on the property.
Luckily the house sold very quickly for a very good price to a nice family. They intend to update and renovate the property. Happy ending, right? Well, my dear relatives seem compelled to report every contractor vehicle, every adjust- ment to the landscaping, etc. Amy, I have said goodbye to the house and trying to hold onto the many good memories. I really care to know happening to the house now.
Although well intentioned, I want reports of how maintaining (or not maintaining) the property. sorry if my relatives happy with the new owners, but at this point, out of my control. How do I tell those sweet, elderly relatives that I just want to know? I cringe every time I see their name on a text or caller ID. I want to spend the rest of their days enjoying their calls, texts, and vis- its, instead of dreading them. Your thoughts? MOVING ON A.
I think important for you to decode the intention behind these calls. These relatives believed they were performing an important function by keeping an eye on the house dur- ing the year it was vacant. They may need time and some gentle reminders in order to adjust away from this habitual CSI lurking and reporting. They may also, on some level, be using this intel as a to get in touch with you. I suggest that you tell each relative a ver- sion of: appreciate that you watched the house for us before we sold it.
But since we have sold it, it now completely belongs to the nice family who bought it. I think great that they are going to make this house their own. happy to tell you that you need to let me know what doing. I know hard to witness that things are changing, but at peace with And then you should ask them, you do me a favor and not tell me about the house? Instead, like to hear about how Q. This week I received an invitation to a for a woman I have never met.
It looks like a bridal shower invite, but I honestly quite know. When my husband got home I shared this mystery with him. Do we know this person? He finally figured out that this event is relat- ed to one of his co-workers and that this woman is his fiancee. Evidently we are going to be invited to their wedding but have not received that invitation. Fur- thermore, it is unlikely that we would attend.
Am I obligated to attend this celebration? If I attend, should I send a gift? (The registry was listed on the invitation.) PUZZLED A. I have chastised people for accusing mar- rying couples of inviting people to their vari- ous celebrations as a but I have to admit that, hoo-boy, this sure seems like one. You are not obligated to attend a party held for a total stranger and attended by oth- er strangers. You are not obligated to give a gift to this person. The polite thing to do is to give a quick RSVP and hold onto your wallet.
Q. asked about his desire to accompany him and their 3-year- old (and year-old baby) on the first air- plane flight. If the Mom a frequent flyer, guessing her first flight would be an important milestone in both of their lives. INFREQUENT FLYER A. As someone who flies a lot (with and with- out babies and children) I assure you that this particular milestone is wasted on a tod- dler.
Amy Dickinson can be reached at ask amy Elderly relatives lurk and report intel tV corner by matthew gilbert Suranne Jones was outstand- ing on and if that were the only series done it would have been enough but she has also been strikingly good in and And Eve Best, a big plus in is cur- rently a force to be reckoned with as Rhaenys Targaryen Queen Who Never on of the These two remarkable British actresses are at their best in the miniseries as semi- estranged sisters whose mother dies and leaves a few surprises in her wake. The three-part install- ment of PBS cur- rently mid-run on Sunday nights at 9 on GBH 2, is a showcase for them, as they play fairly opposite siblings never dealt with their old wounds and grudges. Watching them face off, and rec- oncile, and face off again, all while grieving their mother, is a joy. Each of the sisters needs to look back in order to move for- ward. They meet on the Isle of Man, where their mother, the Mary of the title, was supposedly on vaca- tion when she died.
Becca is married with two children, but feeling cramped. Ro- saline is all about her career, and she prefers one-nighters to long- term relationships, but get- ting frustrated by her aimless- ness. As they reacquaint, clear there is an abiding love behind all the conflict. also clear that they will need to redefine them- selves, particularly as they learn that their mother was living a double life, one with their shut- down father (George Costigan) and another with a sophisticated Isle man (Hugh Quarshie). As more and more of secrets emerge, including her friendship with an eccentric played by Stockard Channing, takes on some of the qualities of a mystery series.
The reveals keep on coming. But at its core, a family drama that brings in questions of forgiveness, the tricky relationship between the past and the present, and the human hunger for being both bound and free. also a great opportunity to admire two of the finest actors from across the pond. Remarkable British actresses pair up in ITV Eve Best (left) and Suranne Jones in a three-part PBS miniseries..
